Miss USA

I've been hit with a case of nostalgia something bad. Maybe, like allergies, it's something in the air...Nora and I recently dyed Easter eggs, a craft that hearkens many years of spring weekends spent. I also took up a sewing project and tried to remember my Grandma's instructions on hemming, pinning and sewing in a straight line. My daily perusing through the food blogs dredged up classics such as banana pudding, a snack my mom would make and serve after nap time. And I channeled my father when making my NCAA brackets this year, letting my heart dictate wins for KU and OU. But the clincher, the memory that if it was a cold would set me up on the couch with a roll of toilet paper for my nose for at least two days, was this: a commercial for the Miss USA pageant.
My friends parents and my mom always advocates of slumber parties for my friends and me. A group of us regularly met at each others houses and set up our sleeping bags in dens, played cards, Nintendo and ate junk food to our hearts' content. We'd stay up until 4 am or until the very last one of us couldn't hold her eyes open any longer.
The best slumber parties were the ones when Miss USA was on. From 1990-1993 it was hosted in Wichita, so naturally the whole town was excited and we'd host our own viewing parties. Simultaneously, we'd host our own version of the competition-- Miss Fruitcake (we were enlightened 12 year olds and never took the competition seriously. We all expected to go to college and work hard and if in the course of life we were viewed as attractive in swimsuits, well, that was a bonus). We raided our mom's closets for old dresses and put on make up. My house had a staircase leading to the den and I remember LH vamping in a white satin gown with her golden curls.
Sometimes the best cure for disease is administering a small dose of the offending allergen. With that in mind, if you call on me Sunday night, you might just find me wearing a tiara on the couch, watching the pageant Live from Las Vegas. And that roll of toilet paper? Not for my nose...as any good adolescent girl knows, tp is best stuffed in bras to create falsies.

Passover Advice From Two Non-Jews

Last year ET#, a former roommate and I staged our first Passover Seder. A year later, being not quite experts in the Jewish faith, we still query each other on technicalities. But anyone could learn from us! Who needs Joan Nathan?!

me: last night had matzoh ball soup from the mix for passover but got a headache from the msg
ET#1: i don't make from mix
me: you are a good Jew
ET#1: it is super easy yes i am a good jew
i threw away all my bread
me: but I like the salty goodness from the mix and I did use schmaltz from my chicken earlier in the week
ET#1: wow
me: but since the chicken was roasted in milk it wasn't kosher
ET#1: i think it might be milk and chicken okay
me: really?
ET#1: milk an beef not okay
me: huh well, it's okay by me either way
ET#1: because a chicken sandwich with ceese okay but a cheeseburger bad
me: really? why would you have a chicken sandwich with cheese? unless it was chicken cordon bleu which is illegal
ET#1: chicken parm
me: OH YUM!! and it's kosher you say?
ET#1: am pretty sure me: using matzoh crumbs?
ET#1: will email my friend i think it is korsher just not allowed during passover big difference anyway matzo balls totally easy to make sans schmaltz as long as you have tasty broth and seperate eggs
me: yes, I am sure you are right
ET#1: no jews in baltimore
me: really??
ET#1: or at least near where i live
me: what about those movies about jews in the 50s in baltimore...
ET#1: i think they live up north in reierstown
me: I'm trying to think
ET#1: really? what movies
me: I don't know I have to think/google but I feel like I can see one in my mind
ET#1: now i am hungry for matzo ball soup