Tales From the Fruitcart: Fruit Cart Fashion

Zara and I are snowlogged, which we why we cannot be bothered to report our own adventures at this time. Our dedicated correspondants are out there living. They will do the reporting until the spring thaw, or until Zara and myself can leave our respective apartments (replete with clean laundry, catalogs and magazines, and the delivered-to-your-mailbox Netflix) to relay our tales. In the meantime, Tales From the Fruitcart: Fruit Cart Fashion, by Elizabeth Crawford.


I've noticed that when people push the fruit cart (myself included) that they tend to dress up more. This might be because you have to deliver fruit to the big wigs in charge of the company or, for new employees, because it is the equivalent of a debutant ball (in that you announce your employment to all the other workers who you never met previously). I for one wore nice black pants and a scrunchy, stylish white shirt -- conservative, but fun; so that as the fruit cart pusher I would appeal to everyone without intimidating them. My co-worker wore a nice button down shirt on his fruit cart day, as oppose to the long sleeve black tee shirt with a tear in the seam of his right shoulder that he is wearing today. And, I noticed, that today's fruit cart pusher, who usually wears nice skirts and matches her hand bag to her shoes went above and beyond her usual graceful style and wore one of those fur collars that you tie around your neck. Clearly a sign that she is one of the most refined fruit cart pushers.

When selecting an outfit for fruit cart day, you should consider:
* You have to lift heavy tubs of fruit out of the cupboard so you should not wear too high of heals lest you teeter over under the weight of the grapefruits.
* Sometimes it is hard to gather momentum when pushing the fruit cart so you kind of have to stick out your rear end to get leverage. Thus, tight, short skirts are a bad idea (they should be a bad idea for work any way).
* Sometimes it is hard to stop the fruit cart once you get it going, so you don't want to wear shirts that are too tight across your back -- that can hinder the tugging motion necessary to stop a runaway fruit cart before it crashes into a pillar and causes a ruckus.
* You need to wear something that makes you feel confident because everyone will look at you. At the same time though you don't want to appear snooty or intimidating.
* If you can pull it off, wear a themed outfit. This summer a woman wore black Capri pants with limes, oranges, lemons and cherries all over them. But you need to be careful not to over do it. (For example: Fruit shaped earrings are okay, but a hat with fake plastic fruit on it is not -- yes, someone has worn that before and it was distracting).

Finally, to set the record straight. An upcoming fruit cart day is a valid reason to buy a new outfit. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Just select carefully and according to the aforementioned guidelines.