Tales from the Fruitcart: Trouble Ensues When the Fruitcart is Forgotten

Liz reports on her day pushing the fruitcart, dispenses some career advice, and reminds us all of the importance of dressing appropriately for the occassion.


Twice a year every employee in my office (except the really important ones and the lowly ones who stuff envelopes in the printing room) dispenses free fruit to all the other employees. If done correctly this is an opportunity to "manage up" without looking like a brown nose and a chance to show how benevolent you can be to those who are below you (in my case, only the envelope stuffers are below me).



Despite knowing for weeks that today was my turn, I forgot to wear my cherry sundress or fruit shaped earrings, and instead am dressed in a ratty tee shirt and dirty jeans. Needless to say, this did not bode well for "managing up," although I fit right in with envelope stuffers.



Nonetheless, I tried my best and was all ready to be witty and cheerful and show off my "natural leadership skills" when I rounded the corner where our new CEO sits. But instead of pushing the cart with confidence and grace, I crashed it into her computer. This would have been bad enough, but it got worse when another employee, who sits across from the CEO, called me a "bad penny." The CEO said I could throw one of the tomatoes at her (which is an example of her effectively being benevolent to someone below her). I restrained the impulse to comply and, instead pretended to shoot the 'bad penny' person with a banana. I think this could have been "witty" except that I sort of stumbled backwards over some cords at the same time. So then I didn't know if they were laughing because I was successfully engaging in office banter, or because I tripped.



After failing at "managing up" I went to the fourth floor where the envelope stuffers reside and tried my hand at being benevolent. I was going along fine – telling them to take extra bananas or to try the grapes. I even picked up a paper plate that one of them dropped and handed them a new one. Then, as I was smugly leaving, thinking that I was a very nice fruit cart pusher, this guy with a limp had to chase me down because I missed him. To make matters worse, I think he'd been shouting at me to wait but I hadn't heard him (it is hard to hear down there with all the printing presses whirring), and another person had to flag me down for him before I realized what was going on.



I apologized, but this clearly did not compensate for the bad karma I had created for myself, because just as I was going into the kitchen to put the remaining fruit away and end my misery, I got stuck. This was no normal, fruit cart jammed in a tight spot stuck. Oh no. My belt loop got hooked on door handle so that I couldn't move away from the door. It took me a couple pulls before I realized what was going on, and then once I had, I had trouble wiggling free. Even though no one saw me (I hope) it was all very embarrassing.



So much for using fruit cart duty as a way to get on the "fast track" program and be promoted.